Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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