i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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