I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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