On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
