Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
