ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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