I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
