You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
