Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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