i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize