Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
