'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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