Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
