If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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