well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
