Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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