dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
