the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize