He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
