her vagine was all disorganized.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
