I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
