Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize