i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
