can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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