is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
