whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
