How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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