I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
