I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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