just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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