What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
