Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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