it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I am naked and annoyed.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize