So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
