No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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