Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize