you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I touched a dick in church today
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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