We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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