He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
