I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize