so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
