Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
