does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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