The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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