I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
