I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
