Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
