this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize