Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
