i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
