It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
