dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
