At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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