I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
