i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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