You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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