k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
