not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
