1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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