And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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