My nipple is on Facebook.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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