Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
